Drhoz! (drhoz) wrote,
Drhoz!
drhoz

Pathfinder: Mummy's Mask: Wasteland Warriors

According to the Golarion map, Magnimar is in the same geographic location as Seattle.

GM: So our Streets of Magnimar campaign was Shadowrun all along.
Weldun: Yes, I know - that’s why I ran it there.

Anyway, The Mummy’s Mask, in which our party of wannabe law robots, half-orc spell mechanics, swordswomen cosplaying as cloves of garlic, and lovesick gnolls, head off into the wilderness to locate the tomb of a long dead architect. Let’s hope he didn’t keep the best traps for his OWN tomb.

At least we don’t need as many supplies as most such expeditions would need - Two of us can Create Water, Asrian can cast Tiny Hut for shelter, and Nemat has a Ring of Sustenance. Throw in the Cauldron of Brewing, and Marching Coffee, collapsible bathtubs, and a few Bags of Holding stuffed with rations and Wandermeals, and we should be fine.

Zenobia OoC: And how many kilos of Bolivian Marching Powder?

Automated Cartographers will be pretty useful too.n We don’t take any camels, or other beasts of burden.

Nemat: Camels get eaten. Camels get turned to stone. I’m not going out there to feed the local wildlife.

Although that does mean we don’t get to visit Crazy Hassan, or Honest Achmed’s Used Camel Emporium.

Adventurer: We need oceangoing camels.
Crazy Hassan: I have just the thing, master.
Adventurer: … That’s four camels in a boat.
Crazy Hassan: Ah, I see where I have misunderstood you sir. You meant aquatic camels. These ones merely know how to handle the rigging.
Adventurer: … How?? They don’t even have thumbs!
Crazy Hassan: *shrugs* It is a mystery.

Before we leave town, we go to see the Pharaoh's concubine Muminofrah one last time. Zenobia is a bit uncertain about this - she’s still a bit hurt about the woman’s interest in her girlfriend.

Zenobia: Why are we doing this, instead of just skipping town?
Nemat: She’s been useful. And we shouldn’t burn bridges.
GM: It doesn’t matter - her guards won’t even let you on the barge. You can see her on the deck, in the arms of a dark-skinning man, giggling as she’s fed grapes.
Asrian: Ah. She has a newbie.
Zenobia: Well, I’m relieved. Are we going to misinform the Governor about where we’re going?
Nemat: No. We’re not going to tell her anything.

As it happens we’re attacked almost as soon as we’re out of sight of town. It’s Pharaoh-cultists. And there’s a sphinx padding along behind them.

Zenobia: Two questions - will Saranae be disappointed with me because I didn’t give them a warning first?
Nemat: No. She doesn’t expect you to put yourself in undue danger.
Zenobia: That’s good. And the other question - why do these dumb-asses always try to close to close combat?

Onka adds a Disruption effect to his fireball, which nicely wrecks any attempt by the nearer cultists to cast magic, or keep any running. The fancy-pants leading them holds back, and is clearly trying to cast something, which naturally makes him a priority target. Pretty soon it’s just the cultists who are still alive, and entangled.

Zenobia: *gesturing significantly with her scimitar* Which of you would like to live?

They’d rather explode than surrender.

Asrian: Well, that was kind of pointless.

There’s a caravan at the first oasis we get to, which reacts with understandable alarm at the party’s approach, until they realise it’s not all gnolls, and lower their weapons a bit. Apparently they’ve had to fight off multiple gnoll packs as they crossed the desert. Nemat introduces us.

Caravaneer: You’re from Wati? I heard rumours of a terrible necromantic event.
Nemat: Don’t worry - we dealt with it.
Caravaneer: You must be great heroes!
Asrian: Not great. But still pretty good.

Asrian does a sword dance to entertain our hosts that evening.

Zenobia OoC: I hope nobody comments about the cushion I have to hold over my lap. Asrian’s sword skills are the sexiest thing about her.

Caravaneer: That is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Nemat: Indeed. But she’s taken. Not by me, though!
Caravaneer: I meant the dance.
Zenobia: *panting*

He warns us about the salt flats to the south - they’re teeming with Basilisks.

Zenobia: Maybe we SHOULD have bought those smoked goggles.

Caravaneer: There’s also an enormous bird - of prodigious size! - in the western wasteland. Big enough to snatch up a camel in both claws!
Nemat: There’s a reason the desert hasn’t been mapped yet.

They also have a bunch of trade goods worth looking through, although the gnoll skulls and grave goods do make Zenobia frown, and Nemat give them a warning about the Cult of Pharasma.

Caravaneer: And the rarest of rare creatures! The single-headed hydra!
Nemat: So it’s a snake.
Caravaneer: …
Nemat: Shall I tell you about my home town? The only building of note if the temple of Wadjet. To whom snakes are sacred.
Caravaneer: Half-price?
Tags: delusional personalities
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