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The Edge City team - still officially Quadrant despite having five members - are meeting up with somebody that wants to be our Agent.

Hero Shrew:We can get action figures!

Rep’s deal is commission-only, without retainer. Pretty good for us - if we don’t make any money, neither does he.

Of course, Hardlight want to figure out a way that his civilian identity can sponsor himself.

Hero Shrew:Is this some way to avoid tax?
Hardlight:… no?
Flux:Even supervillains pay tax.
GM:SOME supervillains pay tax.

We can’t find any bad reviews of Rep online. On the other hand we can’t find any statistics on how many agents for superhero teams get killed or kidnapped by supervillains. We decide to meet him to seal the deal anyway - Rep suggests a local Chinese restaurant. We make sure we get there early. Rep has already arranged to have those reinforced chairs brought in.

Hardlight:… I’m just going to scan these chairs - just in case.
GM:They’re cast iron with comfortable cushions.

Rep has some good suggestions for bank accounts and taxes vs. secret identities. And points out that in these days of social media, trying to stay out of the limelight is nearly impossible, so you might as well profit from it.

Rep:Yep, 30 hits already for photos of us here at this table.

Rep:And with you Scooter, it has to be food. Every other photo of you I could find, you’re eating something - thankfully not someone.
Hero Shrew:I can eat mealworm bars all day - and I do. Do I still get an action figure?
Flux:Can you make one of those that opens and closes jaws when you squeeze it?
Rep:Oh no, those things are a hazard to children - last thing you want associated with your Moreau.

The Sonic the Hedgehog character Rouge gets mentioned, in relation to Allana.

Rep:There’s another Bat-Moreau in town?
Fireflasht:It’s a geek reference - look up ‘Rouge Sonic the Hedgehog ‘ later.
Rep:I’ll do that.
Hardlight:Safe search on!
Rep:I keep that switched off - I need to know what my clients are up against.

Hardlight:I keep thinking there’s something I’m forgetting about. Wasn’t there some evil guy running around?
Flux:Well, there was what Scooter did to that pile of dumplings, that was pretty evil.
Hero Shrew:No, it’s the aftermath of all those dumplings that’s evil.

A few days later Scooter is spending a rainy night in a Zoo eatery when he is rudely reminded that shrews are small and most predators are large. In the form of a fourteen-storey tall eyeless T-rex with extra spikes.

Hero Shrew:Speed dial speed dial….
GM:‘Hey Google - CALL THE TEAM’
Hardlight:Hey Scooter - what’s up?
Hero Shrew:Either somebody put some funny mushrooms in my ramen, or I’m looking at a fifteen story tall Godzilla in the Zoo.
Allana:*sticks her head out the door of her apartment to listen*
Fireflash:I’m on my way.
Flux:Kaiju - that’s a hashtag that I didn’t want to see today.

Scooter is feeling some very old instincts as he follows the kaiju down the street - the kind of instincts his distinct ancestors evolved back when they were running around under the claws of dinosaurs and terror birds. Normally he’d be loudly and joyfully attacking its ankles, but too many of his forebears saw teeth like those, briefly.

The rest of the team converge - Hardlight in a taxi.

GM:You’re more incompetent with your own powers than Ralph Hinkley.

At least the kaiju isn’t doing much property damage - it seems to looking for something, eyeless head swing around, and the array of spines along its flanks flexing like an antenna array.

GM:It’s still a Doyouthinkhesaurus-scale threat, but...

Hardlight decides that trying to jam whatever it’s doing on the radio frequency, from eight meters away, is a good idea.

Hero Shrew:uuuuhhhh…..
GM:Well, we all heard him say it. Eight meters away. OK.
Hero Shrew:Even I think this a bad idea.

The kaiju goes berserk.

GM:You didn’t blind it, you cut it’s LEASH! It’s reverted to its normal behaviour - EAT
Hardlight:My theory is confirmed! *gets smacked into a building*
Flux:Clearly the Evil Hardlight has gone back to his own dimension and we’re got the original incompetent one back.

Fireflash:After we deal with this, we search Hardlight for wherever he’s hiding the Idiot Ball.

Hero Shrew continues the theme by trying to leap onto the thing, despite lacking any acrobatics or climbing skills. Our other attacks are about as ineffective, but fortunately it stops rampaging and returns to its search pattern, eventually narrowing down whatever it’s searching for to a warehouse area near the docks. Allana goes sniffing before the kaiju can start searching building to building - and smells something new pervading the area. Something old, yet young, reminiscent of Moreaus. And something metabolising really, really fast.

And then a Monstersaurus bursts up from under the street, and screams a challenge at the first one. So now we’re in the middle of a kaiju fight.

Hero Shrew:NOW there’s going to be property damage.

And then we here a THIRD roar from the north - and see rocket engines. It’s something that hasn’t been seen in a decade - the Potentially Copyright-Compromising Minuteman Robot. A giant robot that got shut down for being notoriously murderous, even without the influence of Mechanon. Fireflash certainly recognises it, and prioritises IT as the prime target, even with two kaiju wrestling around the docks. But Allana is busy punching one of the kaijus back on its arse, but the other kaiju doesn’t appreciate the interference, and the first few blasts of Godzilla breath get blasted around, even as the first one is getting its teeth punched out by Hero Shrew. The Minuteman robot is firing missiles, but at least the ones that miss seem programmed to turn out over the bay and detonate where they can’t hurt anybody. The first kaiju bites a chunk the size of a schoolbus out of the unconscious Monstersaurus.

Hero Shrew:Well, I think we can safely say they weren’t here to mate.
Flux:I wasn’t thinking that. Scooter, we need to talk about your mating habits. Actually, Allana, YOU talk to him about his mating habits.

The first kaiju isn’t swallowing the monstersaurus flesh either - just holding it in its mouth. Odd. But some of us are suffering too many acid burns to care. Fireflash is beginning to suspect that the giant robot is actually piloted, and whoever is piloting it just wanted to fight kaiju, and with both Kaiju punched unconscious it’s slowing down again. Hardlight, on the other hand, apparently wants to stop the kaiju actually dying.

Allana tells Scooter to hurry to the ocean to deal with the ongoing acid burns.

Allana:It’ll stop you melting.

The robot has stopped, saluted, and the chest opens up and somebody gets out.

Allana:Look out, it’s deploying biological weapons!

At least it’s unlikely to be anybody from the original group that built the Minutemen - they really didn’t like monsters, mutates, and anybody that wasn’t human for at least a few hours a day. That kind of people would be unlikely to salute our group - only Hardlight passes, and that’s only if his powers derive solely from his armour.

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