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The talk that delicious_irony and I did a talk at this year’s Swancon on all the ways one can enhance Australia’s reputation as a seething wilderness knee-deep in lethal fauna just waiting to devour, envenom, spindle, fold, and mutilate visiting tourists.

And, best of all, most of the examples we gave are absolutely real.

That didn’t stop us starting off with some of our most popular legends, of course.


The Drop Bear, our most beloved arboreal ambush predator, is a perennial favourite. Sad to say, the Internet has made most of our tourists highly skeptical that it actually exists, and it’s become difficult to convince tourists that the only way to scare them off is to smear Vegemite behind their ears (they don’t like the smell).

Of course, sometimes you get lucky, as a mutual acquaintances was when he was camping with one such skeptic. The visitor went outside to relieve himself, and by a prefect coincidence the high winds dislodged a large male koala from the tree he was using. It, snarling in fury (and an angry koala is an alarming beast), promptly headed back up the tree.

The tourist staggered back into the tent - still unzipped - and stammered “It just missed me… and then it went back up for another go.”

Plus, of course, koalas are dangerous in their own right. Chlamydia is rampant, and one of the strains they carry can jump species. And of course, their claws are sharp and powerful, and their jaws, like many marsupials, ridiculously overpowered compared to the equivalent placental.


Then you have the more folkloric Australian cryptids, such as the Bunyip, and the Yowie.  Pick your own description for the former, none of the descriptions match anyway. And the latter is the local equivalent of Bigfoot and about as believable.



The Hoop Snake is also popular, despite the fact that the legend is an American import.


This story still works on tourists, especially if you embellish it with some plausible details. Coreynn regaled us with the version she told some students from Japan, about how the hoop snakes thrived as a result of the highway system, but many were killed by traffic - and if you looked at the side of the road you can see their remains. The students got very wide-eyed as they drove past the tattered remnants of burst truck tires XD

And if that fails, you can also tell them about the Australian Grass Snake, one of our many deadly species. If you’re out camping, it’s advisable to spread a ring of dry grass around your sleeping bag, so you can hear it coming… tell that one well enough and you can get them to sleep on top of their car *evil grin*

Legendary animals dispensed with, we then moved on to some real species with interesting legends about them.

Such as the Daddy-Long-Legs Spider, which has a world-wide myth regarding it’s lethality. Not true, of course, as proved by the Mythbusters and many others - it’s perfectly capable of penetrating human skin but the venom is next to harmless to something our size. Besides, they hunt other spiders, which is useful. Another spider-hunting spider frequently found is houses are the White Tails, Lampona cylindrata and L. murina.

Thanks to some lazy reporting in the 80s, these spiders earned a completely undeserved rep for causing flesh-eating ulcers. Some claimed this was because they sucked up the venom of spiders they ate, and recycled it. Complete rubbish, of course.

More interesting is the less widespread myth about the Masked Lapwing, aka Australian Spur-winged Plover.

Like many plovers, this bird will go to great lengths to distract you or drive you away from its nest. The myth revolves around the spurs on its wings, which are said to be venomous. They aren’t, of course, but no doubt the fear adds spice to the game of “Teasing the Spur-winged Plover”

Of course, it’s not just the wildlife in Australia that wants you dead. Even before you face the fauna you have to endure the environmental hazards.

Such as Earthquakes.

The Meckering Earthquake of October 1968, for example, wasn’t even Australia’s biggest, but was felt as far away as Perth, Albany, and Geraldton, and opened a surface rupture 40km long and 3m high

It also played merry hell with the only train line to the eastern states.

And Tornados! There’s an annoyingly pervasive myth in the local media that Australia doesn’t get tornadoes. We most certainly do - Western Australia is the tornado capital of the Southern Hemisphere. At the start of the year Bundaberg in Queensland got hit by five. Perth alone gets hit by about one a year. We’ve just been very lucky that nobody in Perth has been killed by one, since they’re usually small.

I once rung my wife about this.

“You know how I had that argument with your dad about whether or not we get tornadoes in Australia?”


“Well we do. And you know how we had washing on the line?”


“Well we don’t.”

We didn’t have a clothesline either. The entire Hill’s Hoist was last seen 40 feet up and heading for the next suburb. Quite impressive damage to the yard - half of it scoured down to bare sand, and pot plants a few meters away not even knocked over. At least my father-in-law got a patio out of it. Well, somebody’s patio. Some assembly required.

But we do get quite large tornadoes in Australia.

This photo, the oldest of a tornado in Australia, was taken in 1911. The storm in question proceeded to destroy the towns of Marong and Lockwood

“They found a six-tonne gold crushing machine carried three to four miles into the forest, which gives you some idea of the strength of [the tornado],” Clyve says. “There are not a lot of entries about how many were injured in Lockwood, but the entire town was almost obliterated.”

And Nevertire was razed to the ground in 1896 

Even horses were lifted bodily into the air, and carried away for some distance. They became en tangled in the wire fences and the falling trees, and many of them were killed. As for the two churches - the Church of England and the Roman Catholic Church—they were simply missed. They were standing there before the storm commenced—they had afterwards disappeared.

Trucks loaded with wool were driven from the wool road at the rate’ of 50 miles an hour. They jumped the locked points and travelled before the wind a distance of five miles. Horses were blown under the trucks and had their legs cut clean off.

I used to joke that the main reason Australia doesn’t get the really big tornadoes is that we don’t have enough trailer parks to make it worth their while. What happens the week before the convention? Two big tornadoes trash trailer parks in Victoria.

And, famously, most of the Australian countryside is made of explodium.


The eucalypts that feature so prominently are practically dripping with highly flammable oils. There’s even a myth that koalas will explode if they get too close to campfires. The trees certainly will. In fact, as an approaching bushfire bakes the forest in front of it, you can get a horribly volatile mix of eucalyptus oils and oxygen. Then it can all go up at once.

The Australian bush is so flammable that hundreds of plant species have evolved methods of surviving the conflagration. Indeed, many of them require a fire to germinate their seeds.

Oddly enough, despite living in a tinderbox, bushfires have only killed about 800 people in the history of the nation. Unhappily, 179 of those were during the 2009 Victorian Bushfires.

But if our bushfires aren’t enough for you, feel free to combine them with the tornadoes.


That far in and we finally get to the actual fauna (the koala earlier notwithstanding). Australia is famous for its wildlife, and our wildlife is famously horrible. Take the kangaroo, for example - cute bouncy herbivores  with boxing talent, and the ability to lean back on their tail and rake your abdomen open with their scrotum-tearing claws.

It doesn’t help that male kangaroos challenge other males with an upright stance and wide shoulders. Kangaroos aren’t too good at differentiating species.

And the equally iconic Platypus packs a punch as well. The males have a venomous spur on their wrists, and the venom therein produces excruciating pain which may be intense enough to incapacitate the victim, and potentially lasting for weeks. A charming bonus - the pain  does not respond to morphine.

We can’t leave out the reptiles. And not the snakes and crocodiles, either, oh no, I’m talking about the lizards.

Australia’s monitor lizards - goannas, perenties, and lace monitors - might no longer get to 7 meters long, but they’re still perfectly well equipped to make you a very unhappy camper. They’re venomous, for one thing. And they use those giant razor-sharp claws to climb trees, especially when surprised. Unfortunately, they don’t much care whether they’re climbing a tree or a person. You’ll care - the claws have been known to puncture the chest and cause lung collapse.

Coreynn and I entertained the audience with the tale of an American biologist visiting our local museum. They took him out for a drive, and spotted a goanna crossing the road, and all got out to have a closer look. The reptile scrambled to about shoulder-height on a tree and glowered at them.

Cue visitor, who really should have known better, but kudos for following the long-standing scientific tradition of testing hypothesis on yourself…

“I’ve heard that goannas don’t bite.” *reach*

After they managed to get the lizard off him, which was after it had savaged both his hands, his hosts told him to hold his hands over his head to minimise bloodloss. The passing traffic all slowed down for a good look at the bloke holding both arms over his head and bloody to the armpits.

And on to the birds.

This is a Cassowary.

They are not small.

The females are highly territorial, and the males very aggressive when protecting the chicks.

Plus, if you’re an idiot and attack one with clubs, then you can fully expect to have your throat ripped open.

Philip Mclean, a 16 year-old boy, and his brother, three years his junior, encounter a cassowary. Despite the size of the brightly coloured flightless bird before them, the Mclean brothers attempt to bludgeon it to death with clubs. It is a fatal mistake. Armed with its long- and sharp-clawed foot, the bird kicks the younger boy, who flees. His elder brother lands a blow on the beast but is knocked to the ground. Lying prone, Philip is kicked in the neck by the cassowary, opening a deadly wound. The boy manages to get up and run but dies shortly afterward as a result of a haemorrhaging blood vessel in his neck.

That said, our smaller birds can also kill you, by chasing you into traffic, knocking you off your bike, or causing you to choke to death on your lunch after a surprise attack.

The Australian Magpie is notoriously territorial during the breeding season, and for about two months passing cyclists or joggers risk their scalps if they go anywhere nearby. When an Australian tells you to wear an ice-cream container on your head, or a pair of sunglasses backwards, we aren’t joking.

The magpie’s testes dramatically increase in size over this period, so as Paul McDermott puts it, it’s like being “hit in the head by a two-pound flying scrotum.

And if you’re really unlucky and turn around at the wrong moment, you’ll get that beak driven through your eye and into your brain.

And that’s just the obviously dangerous birds. Consider the small and inoffensive creature below, a native of Papua New Guinea.

The Hooded Pitohui and its relatives further south eat Melyrid beetles. These beetles contain batrachotoxins, and the birds are now so poisonous that merely handling one can make your hands go numb.

*sings the national anthem*

“Australians all let us rejoice, for we are girt by instant death”

And, indeed, Australia is world famous for its beaches, even if the residents of those beachs are a slavering mass of fangs, spines, venom, and nematocysts. Our volunteer lifesavers had an enviable 100-year record of no deaths by drowning where the swimmers stayed between the flags, which was sadly broken by a freak wave in 2011, which swept fifty people out to sea and lead to two death - one a heart attack in a 20 year old.

Of course, staying within the flags won’t help you against most of the following. Some sort of armoured submersible might.

The world’s deadliest snail!


Cone shells hunt fish, using modified radular teeth like poisoned harpoon. The poison kills fish instantly, so they can’t swim away, and it’ll finish you off too. The only safe way to pick up a cone shell is to get somebody else to do it.

The Bluebottle!


Physalia, a colonial siphonophore that washes onshore in huge quantities when the wind is right. The tentacles can be up to 50 meters long.10,000 human stings in Australia each summer, particularly on the east coast, with some others occurring off the coast of South Australia and Western Australia.

Detached tentacles and dead specimens (including those that wash up on shore) can sting just as painfully as the live organism in the water and may remain potent for hours or even days after the death of the organism or the detachment of the tentacle.

Especially fun is swimming along, faceplanting into one, and accidentally inhalling fragments of tentacle as you scream. This happens.

Of course, then you get..

The World’s Deadliest Slug!


Glaucus and Glaucilla, the Blue Dragons. These pelagic sea slugs float upside down in the open ocean, and eat siphonophores like the Bluebottle above. And then they somehow transfer the intact stinging cells to their own extremities.

There are a number of reports in Australia of kids engaged in “Bluebottle” fights - where they throw stranded Physalia at each other - being badly stung by inadvertently playing with Glaucus and Glaucilla, both of which, by concentrating the most venomous of Physalia’s nematocysts, are much more dangerous.

But far more dangerous than either..

The Box Jellyfish, or Cubomedusa!


They have 24 eyes. A box jellyfish has the closest thing a known jellyfish has to a brain. Box jellyfish also display complex, probably visually guided behaviors such as obstacle avoidance and fast directional swimming. Tests have shown that they have a limited memory, and have a limited ability to learn.

The tentacles of some species can reach up to 3 meters in length. Chironex fleckeri can weigh up to 2 kg. A serious sting from a Chironex cardiovascular collapse and death as quickly as 2 to 5 minutes. This jellyfish is why nobody goes swimming up North during the Wet Season.

And Chrionex is the big one - the Irukanji jellyfish Carukia barnesi and Malo kingi are a fraction of the size and just as appalling.


Identified in 1964 by Jack Barnes; in order to prove it was the cause of Irukandji syndrome, he captured the tiny jelly and allowed it to sting him; his son and a life guard observed the effects.

It has been described as feeling like little more than a mosquito bite. The symptoms, however, gradually become apparent and then more and more intense in the following five to 120 minutes (30 minutes on average). Irukandji syndrome includes an array of systemic symptoms, including severe headache, backache, muscle pains, chest and abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, sweating, anxiety, hypertension, tachycardia and pulmonary edema. Pain is often so severe that patients have been reported as begging their doctors to kill them to get it over with.One unusual symptom associated with the syndrome is a feeling of “impending doom”. Symptoms generally abate in four to 30 hours, but may take up to two weeks to resolve completely.

Victims have said such things as

he wished that he was stung by Chironex fleckeri, instead, since “the pain goes away in 20 minutes or you die”.

“I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to endure that level of pain without turning into a vegetable.”

“It’s like when you’re in labor, having a baby, and you’ve reached the peak of a contraction—that absolute peak—and you feel like you just can’t do it anymore. That’s the minimum that [Irukandji] pain is at, and it just builds from there.”

They’re spreading south, too. But they needn’t rush, the southern shores already have

The Blue-ringed Octopus!


Blue-ringed Octoites contain tetradotoxin - 10,000 times more toxic than cyanide.

 The toxin is produced by bacteria in the salivary glands of the octopus. Their venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis and blindness and can lead to death within minutes if not treated.

Especially fun is still being conscious when the paramedics give up, thinking you’re a heart attack victim.

And while we’re discussing sea life, how about some actual fish.

Such as the Stonefish, which has thirteen venomous spines along it’s back, and camouflage so good you won’t notice it until you step on it.

Or the Southern Eagle Ray, with is also deadly. Just ask Steve Irwin. He got the sting in the heart, when the ray panicked. Coreynn made the audience squirm by pointing out that the sting is serrated, and other people who step on a ray bled to death when they got their femoral artery slashed open.

But if the stingray doesn’t have a sting, you’ll be fine, right?

Of course not.

This is an electric ray, aka torpedo or numbfish. They get up to 90 kilograms (200 lb) in weight and can deliver a 220-volt electric shock

 But at least you can eat the fish, can’t you?

Ha ha, says I. Ciguatera  poisoning can be caused by eating any of 400  reef fish whose flesh is contaminated with toxins originally produced by dinoflagellates Ciguatoxin is odourless, tasteless and very heat-resistant, so ciguatoxin-laden fish cannot be detoxified by conventional cooking.

Hallmark symptoms of ciguatera in humans include gastrointestinal and neurological effects such as  nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, usually followed by neurological symptoms such as headaches, muscle aches, paresthesia, numbness, ataxia, vertigo, and hallucinations. Severe cases of ciguatera can also result in cold allodynia, which is a burning sensation on contact with cold.

It’s occasionally misdiagnosed as multiple sclerosis.

And here’s the bit that cause the entire audience to groan and squirm, most gratifyingly - the toxin may be sexually transmitted.

Or through breast milk.

And the symptoms can last up to 20 years.

After all this, it’s obvious that you can’t go within 50 feet of the ocean. But you’ll be safe from the sea life in the rivers, won’t you?

This a bull shark. This species is infamous from swimming up rivers. During the recent Brisbane floods, these sharks were swimming up and down the streets and across the golf courses. Some stayed behind in the water hazards.

So, what with everything in the sea, and occasional Bull Shark swimming down the street, you should limit yourself to swimming in freshwater rivers, naturally.

Hear my merry laughter.

The Saltwater Crocodile is the world’s largest reptile, river predator, and land predator. They grow up to 7 meters long, and weigh up to 2 tonnes. They’re occasionally found as far afield as Africa or the Sea of Japan, and they’ve been waiting around for American tourists (or anybody else unwise enough to trespass into their territory) for a very long time.

They most certainly eat humans. Just ask the 900 Japanese soldiers that attempted to retreat during the Battle of Ramree Island.

The year is 1945. World War II is all up in your shit. A 900 man cadre of Japanese forces on a small island off the Burmese Coast is being outflanked by Allied forces. With one side open to them, they make a bee-line toward reinforcements. It was approximately at this point that they found themselves badly wishing they were on Snake Island up there.

You see, the only thing standing in the way of salvation was a swamp. Figuring swamp vs. death was an easy decision, the 900 man force entered the swamp…

Five hundred were never heard from again.

The individual in the photo is Sweetheart, famous enough that some our audience members recognized him from the photo. Sweetheart is famous for taking on 15 outboard motors - and winning. He really, really didn’t like aluminium dinghies traveling through his territory.

Unfortunately, he came to a sad end. After his latest bout of boat-wrecking crankiness, he was captured (not shot - our crocs are a protected species) for removal to a crocodile park. But the cage caught of a snag while he was being towed downriver, and he drowned before they could get him free.

Oh, and the crocodiles have Chlamydia too, so if you’re going to have sex with any crocodiles, wear a condom.

Anyway, that obviously rules out going swimming anywhere north of Brisbane. But surely you’ll be safe in a nice river or billabong in the southern states, right? Right?
Naegleria fowleri, the Brain-Eating Ameoba! Discovered in Australia. It breeds in warm water (i.e. practically everywhere we HAVE water, in Australia)  and if you get any up your nose it eats its way along your olfactory nerve and into your brain. Out of every 50 people that contract amoebic meningitis, 49 will die.
So, obviously, you must limit your swimming to well-chlorinated pools.

The Sydney Funnel-web is the world’s deadliest spider, and up to 5cm long. Its fangs can quite easily penetrate fingernail or soft shoes.

And as they wander around during the breeding season they quite frequently end up in swimming pools. But they don’t drown, oh no. They just go unconscious. And when you fish them out they’re not inclined to be grateful.

So, that’s some of the fauna. It would be remiss of me not to start on the flora.

The Queensland Stinging Tree and its relatives are so dangerous that merely brushing against one can kill a horse. Marina Hurley, a leading researcher of stinging trees, found the only way she could handle the plant to study it was with heavy welding gloves. It’s not even safe when it’s dead, since brushing against it then dislodges a cloud of silica hairs, which you then inhale.

And then you have the Poison Peas, Gastrolobium sp. These plants are especially common in SW Australia. Sodium fluoracetate is better known as the poison 1080. Somehow they manage to produce this compound without poisoning themselves. And despite living in low-fluorine soils. And even more incredibly, animals native to SW Australia have evolved to be able to eat it anyway.

Of course, if you’re not native to the area, you’re stuffed. Even kangaroos and possums from the east coast are swiftly killed if they eat it. Farmers sometimes have to scalp entire paddocks and cover it with topsoil from somewhere without poison peas so their cattle won’t die.

And there’s four other genera of Australia native plants that produce the same stuff.

But, you say, Australia is making large efforts to promote our food!

Let me tell you about Australian foods…


The Bunya-Bunya pine will drop football-sized cones on you from 45 meters up.


Macrozamia cycad seeds will kill you unless you pound the seeds in  water that you change daily, for a week, and then roasted (Which begs the question - how the fuck did anybody figure this out?)


Nardoo, or Marselia, is an aquatic fern from the deserts of central Australia, and unless the sporocarps are prepared properly will destroy your bodily reserves of thiamin. The doomed explorers Burke and Wills were given Nardoo cakes by the local peoples, but weren’t told how to find or prepare the sporocarps because they weren’t clan members and it was woman’s business to collect and prepare it. Then one of the morons took a pot shot at the locals, and they weren’t given the cakes either.


And this is the Finger Cherry, or Cooktown Loquat. Most of the time, eating it is perfectly fine, and indeed in many area the native peoples and the later European settlers considered it a desirable fruit. But sometimes, in some areas, when you eat it you’ll go blind for life. And we have no idea why.

Australia has 9 of the Top Ten deadliest snakes in the world. It also has nine of the top nine.

However, since we only had limited time in the talk, I only covered one

The Death Adder. We don’t fuck around with common names over here. On the other hand, it’s not actually a viper, it’s an elapid, like the cobras and sea snakes.

But it most certainly is death on no legs - they inject, on average, 40 to 100 mg of completely neurotoxic venom with each bite. The LD50 of the venom is half a milligram per kilo. One reason people get bitten by this snake is its hunting strategy - curl up under dry leaves, and wriggle its tail in front of its nose. Any bird or mammal that investigates the wriggling gets lunged at with record-breaking speed. So people can all too easily step on the snake without knowing it was there.

  It’s not even our most venomous snake - only half those bitten will die without treatment.

And thus we started to wind up the talk - Coreynn pointing out that even with modern antivenenes, over the vast bulk of Australia you wouldn’t be able to get to a hospital in time anyway.

I then asked the audience which native animal was responsible for more hospitalizations than any other. It wasn’t the Paralysis Tick, although that is very serious.


It wasn’t the wombat, although wombats certainly cause major car accidents (and walk off afterwards).It’s not the Dingo, or the Red-back Spider, or the sea snakes, or the Great White Shark, or the Giant Social Crab Spiders, or our scorpions or wasps or deranged carnivorous marsupials... The most dangerous animal you’re likely to meet in the Bush, or in the suburbs, or lunging at you out of the undergrowth…


is the Bull Ant. It might not be as venomous as the snakes but the very real risk of anaphylatic shock, and the sheer number of people stung, put it way ahead of the competition.

We look forward to your next visit. As Coreynn put it "Drive on the left. Try not to die."


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 19th, 2013 07:24 am (UTC)
And don't forget the huntsman, fond of hiding behind a clock, sneaking into the car, or in my case, crawling up your leg.
May. 19th, 2013 07:28 am (UTC)
covered that in Tumblr :) But yes, I should have mentioned all the traffic accidents...
May. 19th, 2013 07:48 am (UTC)
I love this post. If you don't mind I might put a link to it (and your Journal) in my next general update post.

Is that Ok with you?
May. 19th, 2013 08:23 am (UTC)
feel free :) It was up as a series on my Tumblr, as well
May. 19th, 2013 08:41 am (UTC)
But if our bushfires aren’t enough for you, feel free to combine them with the tornadoes.

OK, now you're just showing off.
May. 19th, 2013 09:59 am (UTC)
there's a reason the Deathworld entry on TVTropes has one real life entry - 'Australia'
May. 19th, 2013 10:07 am (UTC)
Heh, yeah. OTOH, TV Tropes is really more about shoehorning everything you can think of into the examples of any trope that might be a vague fit (if you squint hard), going by the flimsiest connections while ignoring the mountain of evidence screaming "this isn't it". It used to be better, but nowadays the site's often going for quantity rather than quality (and the same thing's actually true for the tropes themselves). They'd definitely benefit from a dose of skepticism now and then.

As for Australia... OK, obviously they're being facetious there (right?), so I suppose that's OK.
May. 19th, 2013 12:23 pm (UTC)
I usually read it for the RL examples
May. 19th, 2013 10:30 am (UTC)
May. 19th, 2013 12:24 pm (UTC)
indeed :)
May. 19th, 2013 03:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for posting. I was very disappointed when I missed this at Swancon. I bet the audience made a lot of interesting noises.
May. 19th, 2013 03:28 pm (UTC)
The chorus of groans and horrified squirming at the sexually transmitted ciguatoxin was most gratifying
May. 19th, 2013 06:28 pm (UTC)
I love cassowaries. They are super awesome.
May. 19th, 2013 09:44 pm (UTC)
pity they're so threatened :(
May. 19th, 2013 10:20 pm (UTC)
Are they, oh that's a shame. I hadn't heard that. :( indeed
May. 20th, 2013 08:12 am (UTC)
yeah :(
May. 19th, 2013 10:12 pm (UTC)
That added some new ones I didn't know of to my list :)
May. 20th, 2013 08:12 am (UTC)
oh? which ones?
May. 20th, 2013 08:36 am (UTC)
Brain amoeba, Hooded Pitohui, most of the plants, electric ray...
May. 20th, 2013 08:39 am (UTC)
goodo :)
May. 20th, 2013 07:29 am (UTC)
About the only things I'd be worried about in Oz, would be the Crocs (justifiably so) and the Gimpie-Gimpie. That plant, is just sooooo very wrong on soooo many levels.
May. 20th, 2013 08:12 am (UTC)
at least it's easy to recognise :)
May. 21st, 2013 12:01 am (UTC)
Just wanted to mention I love your wildlife posts, and this has me properly terrified of ever visiting Australia.
May. 21st, 2013 04:12 am (UTC)
Oh, you're still welcome to visit as long as you take suitable precautions - never wander more than ten minutes from an ICU, wear full-body pantyhose when you go swimming, wear twi pairs of sunglasses - one backwsrds - and so on. Also, try to t

ouch anything or look at it funny.
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )

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