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Slipperier Than A Teflon-Coated Turd

Cthulhu. Roughly 60 sessions and at least two and a half years of gaming. And now, we wind up a campaign, start Masks of Nyarlathotep and say good riddance to Patrick 'Kiss Me, I'm Drunk' McGinty.

Rondale bemoans the cruel fate that made him an investigator of the Mythos.

Agent Rondale : Sure I wanted to protect my country, but I want to protect my family more! I just wanted to serve my time in the army, get out, and go find a real job - but no, Cthulhu.

Agent Rondale : I want that spell changed, so it uses total magic, not remaining magic.
GM : ಠ_ಠ
Agent Rondale : Look at it this way, it'd encourage us to burn through insane amounts of sanity when we use it.

Agent Johnson : Is Professor Einstein an investigator?
Agent Rondale : No, she's more of a hanger-on.

Agent Rondale : There are evil, evil men in the world, and McGinty has shat in their coffee.


On the threat of the 'Esoteric', as Rondale puts it, during his meeting with the ONI oversight committee, in the aftermath of the cult attacks that left nine tenths of their agents dead, and most of their records destroyed.

Prof. Deborah Einstein : Well, if you want to stop it being Esoteric, just teach it in school. Then it'll be exoteric.
Agent Rondale : Sure, that'll go down well, when the kids learn Shrivelling and start burning each others faces off.
Prof. Deborah Einstein : It'll stop being esoteric.
Agent Rondale : Don't mention any of that when they're questioning you, alright?
Prof. Deborah Einstein : Why not, it's constructive advice.

GM : You might be the most experienced field agent they have left, but they can't exactly promote you from Private First Class to Director of ONI. Even if there are a lot of dead man's shoes to fill.
Agent Rondale : A lot? We have to replace a shoe store!


Nonetheless, it does look like Rondale will be rapidly promoted, and have a strong hand in rebuilding the organisation along those lines he's been pushing for since he started. More agents, for a start. Although, it seems likely they'll have to recruit assistance from the same sort of unpleasant groups ONI did in real life.

Prof. Deborah Einstein : We could always send the KKK after Shub-Niggurath. Sounds like just the sort of thing they'll be up for.


But what has McGinty been doing in the weeks since the murder of his employee and kidnapping of his friend? Not much, as far as anyone can tell. The other investigators speculate that he's escaped the local space-time globule, or is quietly fermenting somewhere.

Agent Johnson : To return to our reality he merely has to sober up - that's why he's usually gone a while.

Agent Rondale : He's like yeast - keep him in a bottle and pretty soon it'll fill up with alcohol.
GM : Not really. McGinty only excretes alcohol if you poke holes in him.


Rondale also wants to deal with any of the cult members still hidden behind the Hermetic Order of the Silver Twilight - certainly, he now has the men to do it. It'll be dangerous though.

Agent Rondale : We want to employ people who are Smert. With thinking.
GM : Then I guess you're going to bit annoyed when you have to go down to the police station in the morning, to bail out the ones you sent to scout the Silver Twilight Lodge.
Agent Rondale : Oh for ****'s sake...
GM : They didn't even get into the building before the cops spotted them.

Agent Rondale : Oh, so we only had to lose nine-tenths of our agents before ONI can get the manpower it needs? ****ing typical.
GM : It is a government department. You have to use up the ones you've got before you can requisition more.


McGinty re-emerges. The death of Joey "Joe-Joe" Jameson and likely death of Talbot Vine have hit him hard.

McGinty : Oh, and I've stopped drinking.
GM : Who are you and what have you done with the real McGinty?
Agent Rondale : McGinty, you've got to keep your fluids up!
Prof. Deborah Einstein : What about the withdrawal symptoms?
GM : He doesn't die.
McGinty : Thanks to 50 generations of alcoholics behind me!

McGinty : I don't come out much.
GM : That'll hurt your election chances.
McGinty : Stuff the election, I'm still plotting revenge against the ****s who killed Joey. When I do come out of the basement I'm wearing a welders mask and carrying tools.
GM : Oh god, he's building the Iron Man suit.


Actually, he's been making weapons to use against an enemy that has Gate Boxes, that won't destroy the Gate Boxes when used.

GM : Why not use mustard gas?
McGinty : Didn't think of that... although the Iron Man suit is a good idea too.
GM : Uh-oh...

GM : Alright, if both if you roll 01, I'll let you invent power armour.
Agent Rondale's player : *rolls* 01! 01! 01!
GM : WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!

Agent Rondale : Don't I get anything for that 01?
GM : Tell you what, once physics discovers nuclear fusion I'll let you have an ARC reactor, OK?
Agent Rondale : *grins evilly* Professor, you're an astrophysicist, aren't you?
GM : Oh no....

McGinty : I want to put a strap on the end of my elephant gun.
GM : Why?
McGinty : So I can fix it around a cultist's head as we march him up to the cult hide-out.


Given the complete failure of the new recruits to infiltrate the Silver Twilight Lodge, Rondale is forced to do it himself. First, he meets up with Amy Well's father, the man who introduced them to the club in the first place. Apparently, there's been a bit of a scandal at the club - somebody absconded with the Treasury. And half the most senior members stopped attending. And in some cases abandoned their families as well. It looks like the cultists have all moved off for reasons unknown - but it's possible they left a few real cultists behind, just to see is ONI is still a threat.

Mr Wells : And John Scott has left town too. Family matters, I think.
McGinty : Wasn't he the leader of the Twilight Sparkle?


Quite a few months ago, somebody commented that the worst enemy McGinty could have was an investigative journalist. They were right. The following headline greets McGinty two days before the election.

Arson Scandal

McGinty Accused

Gubernatorial candidate linked to multiple fires, deaths


Republican candidate Patrick McGinty, reputation already troubled by the brutal murder of an employee at one of his businesses last month, has now been accused of involvement in the death by arson of millionaire industrialist Randolph Putney and Dr. Nigel Thane, in July last year.

Further research by this paper has linked McGinty, an army engineer and demolition expert prior to his involvement in politics, to no fewer than four other mysterious fires and explosions across New England, one of them the scene of still unexplained additional violence and disappearances.

The accuser, whose identity remains protected until police and fire officials can complete their investigations, claims that McGinty and his associates were attempting to gain the confidence of Putney heir Rupert, and when the elder Putney thwarted them in this, resorted to causing the fire that killed the two men and burned the residence to the ground.

The younger Putney has been recovering in a private sanatorium since the fire, but when questioned insisted that he “was sure [McGinty] was always acting out of my best interests”.

Investigations by this newspaper have brought to light McGinty’s connection to other scenes of violence.

As reported in this paper at the time, McGinty was seen at the so-called Martensen Death House last August, destroyed two nights later in a fiery explosion. Human remains found at the house are still unidentified, but resident Mr Stuart David Cabot-Jenkins of New York remains missing.

Further damaging to McGinty’s reputation are three incidents in Arkham.

These include an explosion and fire that injured three people, and that McGinty admitted responsibility for at the time; an explosion at his own house that destroyed a section of the upstairs floor, and the cause of which remains obscure; and the destruction by fire and explosion of a property adjacent to his own, in which one man was grievously injured, a woman nearly killed, and which McGinty subsequently purchased and rebuilt as one of his commercial properties. At the time, the latter was attributed to an accidental gas leak, but the fire investigator assigned to ascertain the cause died suddenly less than a week after the incident.

Any persons with further information about these incidents are urged to speak to Boston or Arkham police and fire fighters. Boston Fire Chief J. Coltrane has already told this paper that he will re-open the Martensen and Putney investigations as soon as his office can study the evidence presented.

Mr. McGinty and his political advisers could not be approached for comment.


McGinty : What do they mean, couldn't be approached for comment! I've been here all week!
GM : Hey, you were the one who said you weren't going out. Besides, it's not like they were inclined to try very hard...

The paper doesn't give the name of their informant or writer.

Agent Johnson : That makes sending an assassin difficult.

Agent Rondale : We'll gladly comment if this alleged witness comes forward. *attempts to look harmless*


McGinty swings into action. Not by hunting down the reporter and witness responsible, which as it happens would have got him and everybody else horribly killed, but by a masterful speech to the press, defending himself against these charges and challenging his election rival to a public debate. Meanwhile, his mob contacts go after the newspaper itself, hijacking their paper supplies, stirring up union trouble, and setting the building on fire. This, admittedly, works, but leaves the question on how to destroy the Democrat candidate. Alas, the number of spells McGinty and company have at their disposal gives them a range of obnoxious possibilities. The Dominate spell looks like their best bet, and lends itself nicely to the generation of scandal.

Agent Johnson : We could always sic a monster on him, instead.
Agent Rondale : That lacks subtlety.
GM : Lacks subtlety. Really? As opposed to your other suggestions of having him him jerk off in public, or molesting a sheep on stage?
Agent Johnson : How about attack McGinty with his bare hands?
Agent Rondale : Combine both - drop his pants, then attack.


What a shame that Rondale's plans for a supernatural defence agency requires Mythos-knowledgeable politicians like McGinty in power. Because the Democratic candidate is a much nicer person than the Irish Bastard.

Agent Rondale : Crap, this guy sounds like someone I would have voted for.


Sad to relate, their plan goes off without a hitch, destroying the other candidate's chances, career, reputation, marriage and life. McGinty even gets to punch him out after he snaps himself free of the mesmeric control, and attacked McGinty in rage.

Agent Johnson : Your opponent wasn't holding anything back.
McGinty : I should have seen it coming XD

GM : *sigh* I shouldn't have agreed to the public debate, should have I?
Agent Johnson : It turned into a public mass debate :D

GM : Well, lets see how much that debacle swung the vote in your favour, shall we? *rolls d100* 100%?!?!?! *cries*
McGinty : *dances around the room and poses on rooftops as the rioters sing Irish drinking ballads on every corner*


The unfortunate rival will of course be subject to many cruel jokes over coming years.

GM : Boston - Land of the bean and 'cod'
McGinty : Minuteman XD


Much worse, Massachusetts now has McGinty as Governor - not just a murderous and duplicitous scumbag, but mobster, arsonist, mad bomber, extortionist, and necromancer. Oh, and cradle-snatcher, since he's now free to marry that hot Gamwell librarian, to put the cap on all his new power, wealth, influence, and public acclaim. And then there's the new-look ONI where as many agents as possible are given anachronistic weapons and taught the basics of magical warfare, and raising the dead is just another name for Human Resources. The future is doomed....

GM : Unbelievable - you actually managed to pull yourself free of the New England Shit Vortex
Agent Johnson : The other guy just pulled himself.

Agent Rondale : If we get another vampire we know to look after it. This isn't like adopting a stray dog.

What else remains to be said? All we are left with is a mental image of the victorious McGinty...



Actually, I lie. McGinty does achieve one last measure of notoriety, as the other investigators turn their attentions to the case of one Jackson Elias, and McGinty turns his attentions to becoming President. But I'll save that for the next post.

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
pedanther
May. 23rd, 2012 02:50 am (UTC)
It's a good thing I know that "role playing" means the players aren't really anything like the characters, or I'd be thinking dark thoughts about fixed dice. :)
drhoz
May. 23rd, 2012 10:58 am (UTC)
all the dice rolls were witnessed by me...
ratfan
May. 23rd, 2012 07:49 am (UTC)
My God!


Amy Wells
[reading the newspaper one fine day in Boston....]
drhoz
May. 23rd, 2012 10:57 am (UTC)
Yup. Time to emigrate to New Zealand, i think.
kyu_kage
Jun. 22nd, 2012 10:00 am (UTC)
It could be worse.

They (the paper) could be coming around to interview you for a puff piece.
drhoz
Jun. 23rd, 2012 01:30 am (UTC)
Indeed - Amy's name was linked to his in some of the news reports
ferret_otaku
May. 24th, 2012 07:28 am (UTC)
So that's how McGinty can stand up "Thanks to 50 generations of alcoholics behind me!"!
Where can we read the chronicills ahh chronicles of this game?
At least do you have a "best of" quotes booklet?

In the words of Fineous Fingers "Hmmmmmm..."
drhoz
May. 24th, 2012 08:48 am (UTC)
As soon as I can find the time to finish the McGinty Files pdf, I'll probably put it up on GoogleDocs
Peter Schmidt Jensen
May. 24th, 2012 10:32 am (UTC)
It's the end of an era. *Sniff* I've thoroughly enjoyed following McGinty's rampage from safety of the sidelines - has it been 2½ years, already? Good gracious, long past due that the Irish Bastard got some fan-drawings... Would you be interested in a cover illustration for the McGinty Files, sir?
Also, hypothetically speaking: if someone were inspired to create a spin-off comic strip - let's call it: McGinty for President, or perhaps: McGinty VS The World - would you and/or your brother and other players have any kind of objections to that? :-D

In any case, thank you for all the stories, and keep up the good work! I'm looking forward to hearing more from your gaming table, even if McGinty is but a memory ...or will he be making cameo appearances, like Vitus does? :-)
drhoz
May. 24th, 2012 12:13 pm (UTC)
I'd certainly be interested in a pic - ATM, the pdf cover is a faux manila folder. Certainly the file needs a picture of the monster in question :)

He'll probably be acting as a patron to whatever group gets sent off to investigate the Masks - they're stuck in Abbyssinia and need money, McGinty sends them a Western Union cheque, or whatnot :)

And sure, a spin-off would be great - I'll have to ask Ian to tape next session, I forgot, this time :/
Peter Schmidt Jensen
May. 24th, 2012 12:35 pm (UTC)
I hope you include the picture of Paddy "Trollface" McKennedy in the files - it's a classic! :-D

BTW, if you've got the recordings of your sessions lying around but don't want to release them as Actual Play podcasts or suchlike, you could cut out snippets of the more memorable McGinty-quotes and splice them together with some photos or pictures, and turn them into a video ad for your gaming journals.
The Veil of Mykybe-promo video was excellent, you should get that guy to do a McGinty gubernatorial campaign video reel. :-)
drhoz
May. 24th, 2012 01:44 pm (UTC)
alas, for recording I'd be relying on my brother bringing his iPad - so sound quality would suffer. He's only recorded the one session before, but a previous player did record a few sessions.

I'll endeavor to have future episodes recorded, and try and come up with an intro. My voice sounds ghastly to my ears though :/
kyu_kage
Jun. 8th, 2012 09:16 am (UTC)
E-Gads

At least Lancaster is in England.

And he can rest easy in the fact that at least McGinty can't be President of the United States.
drhoz
Jun. 8th, 2012 09:39 am (UTC)
I thought he was still running his rare books business in Arkham. And given ONI knowledge of mind control magics....
kyu_kage
Jun. 8th, 2012 09:46 am (UTC)
No, no.

I've got a write up here somewhere that he went back to England after completing his study of a particular book the University held to avoid anyone else in the party learning what he had.

Considering all the spells he gained but never actually used (except for True Resurrection), it's a wonder he hasn't gone completely mad.

That being said, he could freak everyone out by turning up out of the blue via Gate... :)
kyu_kage
Jun. 8th, 2012 09:47 am (UTC)
That being said of course, if you want him to have stayed, he's proven more than capable of defending himself, and it makes sense that he'd stay close to everyone in the group.
drhoz
Jun. 8th, 2012 11:04 am (UTC)
No no, England works :) They have to get over there before too long, after all.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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