"I watched all of The Sontaran Experiment last night - I kept waiting for a funny one-liner!"
GM: This needs less cheese
Peanut Gallery: The kebab you're eating or Silverhawks?
In Shadowrun, before we can actually leave our meeting with the client, the doors burst open and two very obvious armed ork bodyguards enter, bracing a third ork. Naturally, the PCs dive for cover and Inkubus and Felix fire off some spells - Stunball, in the case of Felix, and Orgy (the area effect Orgasm spell) from Inkubus. This promptly stuns the Ork trio into a highly embarrassing state, and in the case of one, into a coma. But before we can follow up with gel rounds to ensure they stay down, the client identifies the intruder as Junior, the goblinized son of Global Technologies' founder. This is somewhat embarrassing, but what did he expect would happen if he burst into a roomful of armed shadowrunners? At least we prefer non-lethal responses.Junior seems a bit disgruntled about the job we've been hired to do. But then, having to borrow towels from the bar to clean up the after-effects of Inkubus' spell might explain that.
Felix: You know, it may have been a non-lethal spell, but there exist people who are MORE likely to have you killed for doing that sort of thing to them. Especially in public.
Greenlight: He sounds like a villain from Neil the Ork Barbarian... Not that I watch that show.
Anyway - the missing chip designer, Teehee, wiped the computers before he fled, but we are given a boxful of stuff from his desk and apartment to investigate. It includes tickets to a recent Urban Brawl match - quite a popular sport.
Felix: Now in 3D!
Greenlight: And smellovision!
Inkubus: Actually, no-one has ever successfully marketed an Urban Brawl sim-sense.
One oddity of infotech in 2050 - no wireless network. That's just one of the things that makes playing things like Riggers difficult in that era.
Titus: Now I'm picturing a rigger getting defeated because somebody decided to microwave a burrito
The box also includes a range of data and sim chips.
Felix: What kind of porn is it?
Felix: Big Breasted... Dwarf Women?
Felix: I didn't know dwarves were that flexible
GM: The last chip is slightly different.
Felix: Ork Women?
Felix: At least it's not all midget porn.
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Massive Daring Do Fangirl Rainbow Dash is appalled that the next book in the series has been delayed a few months, and sets out to find the author
Spoiler Alert - ( Or IS she?Collapse )
And we got some amusing responses from the fan artists, such as Pixelkitty's "Game of Thronies" in which A. K. Yearling had George R. R. Maretin step in as series author XD
Here’s an awesome little piece of history:
Archaeologists in the Burnt City have discovered what appears to be an ancient prosthetic eye. What makes this discovery exceptionally awesome is the striking description of how the owner and her false eye would have appeared while she was still alive and blinking:
[The eye] has a hemispherical form and a diameter of just over 2.5 cm (1 inch). It consists of very light material, probably bitumen paste. The surface of the artificial eye is covered with a thin layer of gold, engraved with a central circle (representing the iris) and gold lines patterned like sun rays. The female remains found with the artificial eye was 1.82 m tall (6 feet), much taller than ordinary women of her time. On both sides of the eye are drilled tiny holes, through which a golden thread could hold the eyeball in place. Since microscopic research has shown that the eye socket showed clear imprints of the golden thread, the eyeball must have been worn during her lifetime. The woman’s skeleton has been dated to between 2900 and 2800 BCE.
So she was an extraordinarily tall woman walking around wearing an engraved golden eye patterned with rays like a tiny sun. What an awesome sight that must have been.
SOMEONE DRAW HER PLEASE
CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW AN ANCIENT CRAFTSMAN WAS PRESENTED WITH PEOPLE LOOKING FOR HELP TO NORMALIZE THEIR DISABILITY. AND THEN SAID ‘NAH FUCK THIS WE’RE GOING TO MAKE YOU LOOK BADASS.’
NOT FUCKING IMPRESSED
Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.