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The Ascension of Pigman

aye aye captain
The Day Z server that Ian was terrorising as the Pigman got shut down (Gee, I wonder why) but that has stopped his campaign of terror elsewhere. Plus he achieved apotheosis there by expanding his Sauron's tower into a one topped by wings built from thousands of oil barrels, and when somebody complained about the night, announced "Hold on, I'll fix it." and ignited the barrels.

True, the resulting firebird illuminated the entire map. It also crashed the server. The aggrieved admins did ask him why he did it, and he told them he wanted to be a sun god.

But that hasn't stopped him setting up shop on another server. There, one of the admins built an impregnable tower and got boastful, offering a case of gold to anybody that could kill him. Ian took that bet. As his chopper came over the hill, no doubt to the tune of 'Ride of the Valkyries', the admin started to wonder what he had hanging from a cable underneath. What he had was a tank, which Ian's friend was sitting in the turret of. After Ian flew round and round the admin's tower, tank blazing away, the admin tried to welch on the bet - after all, Ian had help. Ian accepted this, and came back with a boat on the towline. The resulting explosion when he dropped the boat on the tower wiped it off the map.

Ian then patiently explained that exploding boats made the biggest bangs in the game. Which further explained the boats people had been finding parked immovably across the doors of their bases. Ian had noted that such locked vehicles migrate slightly with each server reset, and sooner or later would intersect the base's walls. Whereupon he could unlock the boat, back off, and blow the entire building to kingdom come with one bullet. One of the other players didn't believe him. Ian demonstrated. Using that player's base. While he was trapped inside it by the boat parked across and into the door.

He's also abused in-game physics by blasting big craters at the bottom of enemy base's walls. The walls stay up, but now they're standing high enough above the new ground level that Ian can roll in underneath and go berserk. Or just fill the building with satchel charges and wait for the other team to come back.

One such group of victims: Oh no. I think I left the safe open.
Ian: Oh reeeeeaaaaly.

Ian then went back to the resulting crater, discovered that the safe was indeed open, tipped out all the contents, and to add insult to injury, ran off with the safe.

A combo of tanks and locked vehicles proved lucrative elsewhere too. One player wanted to know why Ian was singing 'Baby Got Back' and found him towing a line of cars behind a Russian T-1 tank. Which he proceeded to park and lock along a road at the bottom of a hill near his own base. This, Ian explained, was to force other vehicles to detour across the soft ground to either side of the traffic jam, or even better, get out of their own vehicles to try and steal the tank. While Ian was waiting up on the hill with a sniper rifle.

And he's found another game to brand with his own flavour of creative evil, too. It's a sandbox game called Space Engineers, where the players get to build with relatively near future technology. This has not stopped Ian taking the innocuous tech provided, and inventing a freaking railgun. A fleet of four other players that were innocently flying past had no idea what they were facing, even as it was turning to aim at them, since it didn't have an engine signature, or more importantly, a muzzle flash. They found out a fraction of a second later, when the projectile took out all four ships - plowing right through two and taking out the rest of the fleet with shrapnel.

He's also invented as Orky a ship as could be hoped for. He's given it gigantic metal jaws, gatling guns for eyes, a giant chainsaw for one arm, and a rocket flail for another. The chains of the latter spin around until they wrap around another ship, then the rockets on the end spiral in and blow the enemy ship in half. One of the other players wanted to know how he comes up with these ideas, given he's only been playing it a week. I put it down to evil genius myself.

One such example of genius was the mining claw, comprised mostly of ore processing devices. It takes most players days to break down asteroids into ore. This damn thing reduced an entire asteroid to rubble in under 30 seconds. He's going to add it to his ship - and use it on other ships. Quote the other player: "THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED"

Another player irritated him with repeated raids. Ian sent drones after him to locate his asteroid base, and when he came back from another raid found Ian's ship there cutting his asteroid in half with the chainsaw.

Shadowrun : Gayschlong's Lair

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Shadowrun - Where Purrdence was hanging around and the Smut Field Intensity correspondingly high. Amazingly, since Inkubus was mostly absent this session, it appears the elf libertine is actually a Smut Sink.

Felix: Labrat! I have a gift for you!
Greenlight: It's a monkey! It has electrodes in its feet.
Felix: There's a Smartphone app that comes with it.
Greenlight: It's called 'Dance, Monkey, Dance!'

It's actually a stealth drone, which may be very useful in a hunt for a serial killer dragon. So will the cunningly modified garbage truck that Labrat has been working on - it looks ordinary and unimportant, but it's filled to the brim with armour, sensors, luxury amenities, and weapons.

Labrat: One problem - the base vehicle is the least cool vehicle on the streets.
Felix: Inkubus' Kryptonite

Felix: I'm not sure how Inkubus is going to deal with a possessed serial killer dragon - and I'm not sure I want to know.

Inkubus: I still think it's a bad idea to let any dragons know we're taking money to kill dragons. Even if it's a dragon that's paying for the hit.
Felix: It certainly sets a bad precedent.

This should all be arranged through our fixer

Felix: 'Contact Miss Kitty -
Greenlight: '...and ask about our Godzilla Special'

We receive directions to the meet with the client.

Greenlight: Copy. Sorry. Warhammer is rubbing off- *splutters* I'll see you there!

The Feathered Serpent Aleesh is annoyed that we nicknamed the target Godzilla.

Aleesh: You need to learn more dragonlore, human. The killer is a lesser dracoform
Felix: It's occasionally useful to pretend to have less knowledge of a subject then we really do, especially when negotiating contracts.
Greenlight: You must be a world class actor, Warhammer.

GM: You scramble into the limo
Greenlight's player: This module is making unwarranted assumptions about Shadowrunners. Is there money in there or something?
Warhammer: There's money in there? *pushes his way past and in*

Greenlight: I've never eaten hamburgers in a limo before.
Aleesh: I enjoy the common things in life.
Felix: You'll get on fine with some of this team then.
Warhammer: Because we're so... common... to. find.
Felix: ..... just enjoy your burger.

Aleesh: I am the ancient Feathered Serpent Aleesh
Warhammer: Hi Aleesh. I'm a dwarf. I shoot people.
Labrat: I could say something now but I won't because you're a Feathered Serpent.
Felix: And we're in enough trouble with dragons as it is.
Labrat: Speak for yourself.
Greenlight: I think I should have handled these negotiations alone.
Warhammer: Would have saved time.

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Black Crusade : Bad Girls

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Joanna wants to use the combat ability Double-team, but needs somebody else with the ability first.

Jrska OoC: leers I've got Double-team.
Cassius OoC: facepalm Given Jrska's recent mutation ... you may as well rename it Spitroast.

Joanna seems to be leaning towards Slaanesh worship despite her best efforts. With any luck she'll no longer be a Sister of Battle, but can be rechristened a Sister of Pain.

Jrska: Who could resist when I'm around as such a good example? No-one can resist the beastwoman's butt. Poses

Cassius has also realised he can share his power with his minions.

GM: You'll still need to mark them with profane symbols.
Joanna: I'll let Cassius brand me.
Jrska: Aw, you won't let ME brand you.
Joanna: I never said that...

Jrska: I'm going to have so much fun with Joanna.
Cassius: You do realise I'll be branding her with Tzeentchian runes, right?
Jrska: Eh, I'll balance it with a nice Slaanesh symbol on her other buttock.

Cassius' player (to GM): I been watching – you've been stroking your goatee all day
Joanna's player: 'What shall I do to the PCs now?'
Jrska's player: He needs a white cat
GM: Now I'll all self-conscious!
Cassius' player: My work here is done.

Anyway – Cassius and Joanna are setting up a ritual that require the mutual murder of the Imperial and Severian commanders, while the rest of the warband are off to capture the aforementioned individuals. In fact, we just drove off an Imperial Stormtrooper attack on the Severian HQ.

Aladar, still insubstantial, hurries off after the retreating stormtroopers. He still has officers to immolate, after all. Cog, of course, is still lying shot and bleeding back at the door trying to weld his ribs back into place.

Jrska: That's why I left him to it. He needs to learn to appreciate the agony.

The Severian general is wearing a big white fur coat.

Jrska: Mmmm, I'll have that.

Jrska and her Kingfisher Girls, all wearing looted Severian uniforms, take refuge in audacity and stroll right into rebel HQ like they belong there.

Jrska: The body language screams 'Officer!' while the actual facts say Mutant.
Cassius: And by the time they sort out the cognitive dissonance -
Jrska: I'll be right in the middle of them :)

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Movies Worth Watching

aye aye captain
Only Lovers Left Alive : Written and directed by Jim Jarmusch. Stars Tilda Swinton, and Tim Hiddleston, as two inhumanly pretty vampires who have been married for centuries. Eve is a lover of literature and knowledge living in Tangiers, while Adam is a tortured musician in dilapidated Detroit. Eve undertakes a difficult journey to console Adam when she notices that ennui and boredom are starting to overwhelm him. They're interrupted by Eve's sister, played by Mia Wasikowska, whose appetite for blood seems more like a drug addiction. While they do their best to make Ava welcome, things go downhill rapidly, and soon their comfortable world starts falling apart.

Also stars John Hurt as Kit Marlowe. Yes, that Kit Marlowe. Highly recommended - Purrdence and I enjoyed it immensely.

Snowpiercer : directed by South Korean director Bong Joon-Ho. Tilda and John again! Also Chris Evans, so naturally Purrdence HAD to see it :)

In the near future, a attempt to combat global warming works too well and kills nearly everyone on Earth. 17 years later, in 2031, the only place where humanity survives is on the Snowpiercer, a massive train which circles around the globe, running on perpetual motion. The movie traces an attempt to take the train by the passengers living in the cargo car. Highly enjoyable, but I advise going into it knowing that it's more allegory than post-apocalyptic film.

Kill Your Darlings : Biographical Drama directed, co-written, and co-produced by John Krokidas. The story covers the murder of David Kammerer, and Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, and William S. Burroughs before they were famous. Ginsberg is played - and played amazingly well, by Daniel Radcliffe.

Purrdence: This isn't going to end well, is it?
Me: *somewhat incredulous* You saw the opening shot - you read me the synopsis! How can you possibly think this is going to end well?

Dr Who S34E5-7

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Capaldi continues to be awesome Doctor, but the actual scripts continue to stumble.

Time Heist : Read more...Collapse )

The Caretaker : Read more...Collapse )

Kill The Moon : Read more...Collapse )

Nice use of the volcanic landscape of Lanzarote as the lunar surface, though.

Podcasts worth listening to

aye aye captain
Peter Watts' 'Malak', about a military drone upgraded to calculate collateral damage, at Starship Sofa - excellent story, beautifully told.

Rudyard Kipling's 'At The End Of The Passage', at Pseudopod. Kipling really was an extraordinary writer - this is an absolutely chilling story of a man's slow mental disintegration. If I could fault it, I'd say the last few paragraphs are completely unnecessary.

Dan Carlin's 'Hardcore History' podcast - Arguably not the most enjoyable of podcasts - if anything you'll come away with the impression that humanity is doomed because we just keep doing the same damn stupid horrible things over and over - but certainly fascinating. Includes such things as a well-argued case that the first use of balloons in warfare made Hiroshima inevitable, thanks to some horrendous by all to believable military 'logic', or a series on the Mongol Empire called The Wrath of Khans.

Graduated Cylinder

aye aye captain
subliminalmusings:  mathsturbation:  graduated cylinder  THAT’S IT. I AM DONE. DON’T EVEN TRY TO ATTEMPT OTHER SCIENCE PUNS YOU LITERALLY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TOP THIS ONE. </div>



graduated cylinder


aye aye captain





Saving dauphins is expected, but this guy saves a shark!!!
Thank you sir, for showing us there’s still some hope for humanity!

more amazing people«

I had a look at the original video and news articles about this. Apparently the man was fishing and accidentally hooked the great white shark, but cut it loose; then he realized the poor thing was beached. What you don’t see here is what’s possibly the most awesome part: he realized the shark still had his hook in its mouth and went to the effort of removing the hook.

From the mouth of a live, distressed great white shark.

Which he then got back into the water and set free.

His name’s Shane Cox, and he’s a pretty damn awesome Australian for that.

This is adorable and wonderful!

of course he’s Australian

And meanwhile while our fucking government continues the idiotic shark cull

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