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Edge City : In The Zone

Flux's player: As enjoyable as this conversation is I'm more concerned by the fact the GM has been rolling dice for the last five minutes.
GM: Yeah, I have to roll for all your Hunteds, Rivals,
Hero Shrew's player: Unluck.
GM: Yeah. I which case there's tonight's plot right there.
Flux's player: And it's all self-inflicted.

GM: Hold off on buying a base - I'm going to give you one.
Fireflash's player: ... Why am I suddenly nervous.
GM: It's a base with potential.
All: Oh god.

Registration of superhumans is not enforced, mostly because nobody wants to try and legally define human and superhuman.

Hero Shrew OoC: After all, if they have to register everybody with sonic weapon powers, do they have to sign up every Pistol Shrimp?
Fireflash: And most cetaceans. Then you have chemical attacks.
Redneck: Aw gawd, it's terrorists!
Moreau: I skunked you, asshole.
Redneck: A TERRORIST SKUNK????

This week looks like it will be set in The Zone, an area of Edge City under constant low-level gang warfare, where most of the gangs have low-level superpowers. One gang territory, that controlled by Humanity First, backs onto Edge City's nicer neighbourhoods.

Hero Shrew: Gee, I wonder where THEY get their money from.

Flux has noticed that some of the gangs - the Voodoo Crew and the Spinnerettes - are being quite active in part of The Zone. But all the cameras in that area have mysteriously stopped working, which makes his cyber-magery difficult. Are the Boosters up to something? Or are the Voodoo Crew and the Spinnerettes up to something in Booster territory?

Hardlight: Hey Scooter, can you get off for an hour?
GM: He works at a titty bar/brothel, I'm sure he can get off for an hour. Unless you meant get off work for an hour?
Hardlight: *headdesk*
Flux: Seriously, invent a foot shield for your mouth.

Scooter finishes shaking a troublemaker unconscious, and dumps him headfirst into a dumpster.

Bennie the Bouncer: Not headfirst, Scooter - they can suffocate that way.

Hardlight: ... I really don't want to piss off Fireflash by calling her on a school night.

GM: How do you get from The Zoo to The Zone?
Hero Shrew: Walk up between Chinatown and Victoria to the freeway.
GM: Good idea - they don't like Moreaus in Chinatown.
Hero Shrew: Except when they're using us in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

Flux: Do Moreaus count as livestock on Californian Freeways?
GM: Nah - the Highway Authority avoided the whole problem by counting them as wildlife.

Hardlight: We need to find a Spinnerette and ask them what's going on.
GM: That's easy - look for a hot chick in red.
Hero Shrew: Any bets on what will happen if Hardlight tries to talk to a Spinneret? Anybody?

The Spinnerets are reinforcing the border to stop the trouble in the Booster territory spilling out.

Spinneret: They're having a top-down reshuffle.
Fireflash: A coup-d'état?
GM: Not really, they're...
Hero Shrew OoC: They can't even spell 'French'.

Apparently the Booster's infighting is down to a philosophical disagreement over exactly how one gets augmented. Which given how willing the Boosters are to let anybody implant they with experimental military tech, etc, is a bit laughable. So why haven't the local cops, PRIMUS, or the military locked them up?

Hero Shrew OoC: They're a minor threat and they're containing themselves.
GM: They're mostly a threat to each other.

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Pathfinder : Streets of Magnimar

GM: Yes, I would punch a cripple.

The only context I'm giving you -

Me: He might be a cripple, but he IS an arsehole.

The new Pathfinder campaign is set in Magnimar, a Freeport with a sizeable population of escaped slaves, built around the ruins of a gigantic ocean-spanning bridge. Archeology in Magnimar is strongly discouraged ever since they discovered the bridge was infested with giant man-eating spiders. The party are all various flavours of rogue.

Zin: Kobold trapsmith, escaped slave. Harrow Card - The Locksmith.
Tannis Orbereck: Ethnically Azlanti, human rake, fledgling noble sent out to see if he can do the family proud before can actually inherit the position. Harrow Card - The Tyrant.
Gillert: Varisian, human, eldritch scoundrel. Writer. Harrow Card - The Wanderer.
Ys Danar: Elven cutthroat, former pirate. Harrow Card - Demon's Lantern
Harshal High-seeker: Shoanti investigator and barrister. Harrow Card - The Bear.


Gillert OoC: 'The Wanderer' card has come up four times in a deck of 52. This is mildly disconcerting.

GM: So nobody took basic rogue - you ALL took archetypes. And how many of you have Good alignments?
Gillert: *holds up hand*
All: *pause*
Gillert OoC: Somebody has to be the killjoy.

Harshal OoC: I don't have many of the 'traditional' rogue skills, but if you need legal counsel or a ironclad contract, I'm your man. And if I need anybody stabbed or houses robbed, I've got the rest of you.

The GM mocks the choice of Kobold as PC.

GM: So human, human, Azlanti, and kick-toy. I'm sorry, I thought you want to avoid being the butt monkey of the campaign this time?

GM: Eldritch scoundrels are generally failed wizards. They couldn't keep up with the training because they kept wanting to go out and fun. It's like the difference between Dedicated Martial Artist and Worldly Martial Artist. Dedicated Martial Artists get two schools or a unique. Worldly Martial Artists get one school -
Me: And get laid from time to time.

GM: Somehow I avoided all the 'Let It Go' covers until I saw the movie six months after release.
Me: You never heard Jrska's take on it.
GM: And that is a good thing.
Me: True. Although she DID put her own twist on some of the lyrics.
GM: Maybe, but in her case 'Conceal, don't feel' is good advice.

Zin OoC: I'm not sure what God I should follow.
GM: Be polytheistic.
Harshal: Just burn a candle for whatever God you think pulled your arse out of your fire this time.

Harshal OoC: Gillert keeps autocorrecting to Gillette on this.
GM: *sings* Gillette - the best, a man can geeeettttttttt.
Gillert: *headdesk*

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As usual, a shark attack over here leads to hysterical baying from the West Australian newspaper that all the sharks should be culled. Such as today's photoshop front page, of a shark fin behind a couple of wallowing kids.

Seriously, did a shark kick the editor's puppy when he was a kid, or something? Or does he just like to pretend he's J. Jonah Jameson and his nemesis is Spidershark?

MLP S6E11 : Flutter Brutter

We get to see Fluttershy's parents, finally. And her completely insufferable brother :/

Although said brother is entertainingly oblivious about Rainbow Dash. Sorry, asshole, but you're barking up the wrong tree there - RD is gayer than a barnful of Crystal Gems.

MLP

Haven't been thinking much about the last two half-seasons of MLP - been too busy and stressed. Still, some of the episodes have been very good. On the other hoof, some have been pretty lacklustre in the scripting department. And the way so many character arcs for the main characters are reaching there conclusions is probably a factor.

"Canterlot Boutique" Rarity expands her fashion empire into the capitol - quite a good episode. Sassy Saddles is an interesting character too - she's obviously a very talented manager - just not one who actually listens to her clients.

"Rarity Investigates!" Rainbow Dash gets framed. It's not exactly difficyult to guess the real culprit, but we do get to see Rarity go all Film Noir which is amusing :)

"Made in Manehattan" Applejack and Rarity get sentenced to Community Theatre

"Brotherhooves Social" This could have been horrible, given the cross-dressing trope and the fact it was written by Dave Polsky. Surprisingly, it wasn't. And it gives us a very good insight to Big Macintosh's emotional state.

"Crusaders of the Lost Mark" The Musical Episode - Classroom presidential elections (which bizarrely predicts the Hilary Clinton vs. Bernie Sanders race), the CMC clear a major milestone, and the most obnoxious recurring villain of the series gets some redemption. And an explanation for why her cutie mark is also the royal regalia of Equestria (although her definition of leadership "I can make other ponies do what I want" still needs some work).



"The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows" How to give Pinkie Pie an Aneurysm - tell her good news, and then tell her she isn't allowed to tell anybody else.

"Hearthbreakers" Applejack Ruins Christmas. And the show producers ship Big Mac and Marble Pie hard.

"Scare Master" Another recurring problem in Equestria - they really, really don't understand introverts. Fluttershy bears the brunt of their efforts to get her to enjoy the local equivalent of Halloween. On the other hand, we do get to see Derpy cosplaying as Princess Twilight Sparkle too :D

"What About Discord?" Discord is being a childish omnipotent jerk again.

"The Hooffields and McColts" The Tree of Harmony was obviously stoned out of its gourd when it sent the two most socially inept ponies of the Mane Six to resolve a generations-long violent hillbilly feud. Just as well this is a kid's TV show, and Twilight only partly magi-nuked the valley.

"The Mane Attraction" Lady GaGa Countess Coloratura, a highly talented singer, and her manipulative agent who of course is named Svengallop.

"The Cutie Re-Mark" Starlight Glimmer, the villain from the Season Five opener, returns. And between her and Twilight Sparkle, proceed to commit global genocide at least half a dozen times. Interesting to see Twilight up against someone much better at magic than her, and probably smarter, and who managed to turn the Tree of Harmony's global surveillance powers, Twilight's own lecture, and Starswirl the Bearded's time travel spell into a really, really nasty trap. I do wonder if it was The Great and Powerful Trixie who somehow reduced the planet to a desolate, lifeless wasteland, since she was notably absent in the sequence of villain-related apocalypses.

And then onto Season Six, in which Twilight Sparkle gets to be a mentor, various characters get everything they ever wanted, and it all goes terribly wrong.

The Crystalling Pt. 1 and 2 - The Mane Six, Spike, and Starlight Glimmer visit the Crystal Empire to attend the naming ceremony for Twi's niece. They end up naming her Flurry Heart after the events of the episode. Perhaps Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All would have been more appropriate. The fact that she was born an alicorn (which is apparently unprecedented, and wince inducing when you see the length of her horn) and is already horrendously powerful, does make me wonder. Queen Chrysalis has a long-standing grudge against Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, and her species ARE called Changelings. If Flurry Heart is a changeling nymph substituted for the real infant, and supercharged by the Crystal Empire's love energy.... plus there was a changeling flying past in the last few seconds of the episode. I think I can predict something about the last episodes this season...

The Gift of the Maud Pie - When I saw this episode was set in Manehatten, and involved a gift exchange, I did wonder if they were setting up an O. Henry plot. They were :) And Maud's observation that "It's the only restaurant in the city with nepheline syenite in their bathroom tiles." made me laugh my arse off, see geology geeks really do make note of that sort of thing.

On Your Marks - Now that the CMC have their cutie marks, it was about time one of them had a cutie-mark related psychotic breakdown.

Gauntlet of Fire - Spike gets dragged into the race to chose the next king of the dragons. It's a plot you've seen in a hundred other cartoons. But hey! New dragons!

No Second Prances - Twilight continues her efforts to teach Starlight Glimmer the importance of friendship. Starlight Glimmer continues to exert total magical control over everypony she meets, but at least she apologises afterwards these days. And she makes a friend! She's Great! And Powerful! Oh Crap. Twilight is understandably alarmed by this development - Starlight Glimmer and The Great and Powerful Trixie are so alike that they could oh so easily amplify each other's character flaws. But then, Celestia did give Twilight the freedom to chose her own friends... riiiight. Like back in the pilot, when she gave Twilight an itemised list of exactly what ponies she had to meet.

Plot felt a bit forced, unfortunately - and I was really concerned about Trixie's mental state by the end of it, given she was going through with a act that involved firing herself down the throat of a pony-eating monster, despite knowing her assistant hadn't shown up to ensure the trick actually worked.

Newbie Dash - Rainbow Dash gets what she's been after since the pilot. And we get disorientated by seeing Spitfire NOT in uniform.

A Hearth's Warming Tail - The pony's take on A Christmas Carol

The Saddle Row Review - Rarity opens a third outlet, this time in Manehatten. J. Jonah. Jameson, running out of stuff he can write about Spidercolt, instead digs out the dirt on the grand opening. Plotwise, it's similar Castle Sweet Castle from last season - five of the six try to help get the fifth set up in a new place - but they manage to get it backwards this time. Also, despite Twilight exploding most of them in Too Many Pinkies, some Pinkie-clones apparently escaped to infest the countryside.

Return to Edge City : Best-laid Plans

Purrdence: I swear, this fic I'm reading is the most heterosexual thing I've ever read.


Fireflash: As I recall you had me there to grab the item the Six Teens were handing off to their employer. And for some reason, YOU, Hardlight, kept attacking the Six Teens despite the fact they'd already passed it off.
Hero Shrew: In my defence, I'd forgotten why we were there.

Hero Shrew: Don't we have to give a copy of that data to that Dysprosium Dawn weirdo?
GM: Dammit!
Flux OoC: GM, foiled again.

Hardlight: I can alter all the data before we give copies back to the police and that mad scientist.
Fireflash: So LowellTech will be the only group with the data and can profit from it? In a word - I DON'T THINK SO.
GM: Plus there's the small matter of tampering with evidence.

Hardlight: Flux and I aren't going to kill anybody! We've got a code against killing.
Flux: So what you're really telling me is 'don't do it where you can see me'.

Flux: So we don't need proper sanctioning.
Fireflash: Pity, I enjoy a good sanctioning.
Flux, Hardlight: ....
Hero Shrew: ... I don't get it.

Hardlight: We're the Light Irregulars.
Flux: No.
Hardlight: We three are the light, the shrew is the Irregular.

Hardlight: Well, next weekend -
GM: So you're the Weekend Warriors now?
Fireflash: How about Quadrant? There's four of us.
Flux: You okay with that, Scooter?
Hero Shrew: *shrug* I guess. What's a quadrant?

Hardlight: Now I have to redesign all our costumes.
Fireflash: I am not having a giant Q over my nipple.
Flux: And do you really want to put the shrew in spandex? He already smells like wet dog.
GM: How about a colour co-ordinated man-kini?
Flux: *shudders*

Hero Shrew eventually realises that various fluffy-tailed Moreaus have gone missing. This enrages the shrew, because that cop stopped him shaking the truth out of the unconscious Alsatian.

Hero Shrew: I'm going to that cop eat his own power armour.

GM: I still haven't found a good picture to use for Hero Shrew.
Flux: Funny, he doesn't look shrewish.

Hero Shrew goes to talk to his boss at the Collar Club, who is a bit upset to learn that Genesys might still be around. He gets the various bouncers to take suitable precautions.

Flux: Every time I see that place I think it should be called "The Pussy Palace".

Hero Shrew walks into Hardlight's office - forgetting the whole 'secret identity' thing.

Hero Shrew: Hey, you remember how that Alsatian said some perv was stalking fluffy-tailed girls-
Hardlight: .... Who are you and how did you get in my office?
Flux: You really think human security could stop him?
Hero Shrew: *notices the human security clinging to his ankles and being dragged along*
Security: I'm sorry, Mr Lowell, we couldn't stop him.
Hero Shrew: .... Er... So... If you could tell that other guy. The one with the light suit. Who isn't you.
Security: Wait, aren't you the bouncer at that furry bar? ... We'll be outside if you need us, sir.
Hardlight: *headdesk*
GM: *sings* Oh Lord, won't you find me/ a super-strong, muzzle / My brick won't stop yapping / I must make it, end.

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DnD : Giddy-up!

A small set of the PCs and hangers-on are hurrying to catch up with the local lordling, Gorestag, preferably before the elemental cultists ambush him. It's going to be at least a day's travel, and we don't have enough horses to travel all night.

GM: Your Bullywug has been wearing the squirrel suit thinking it will make him look less like a Bullywug and therefore people will trust him. It doesn't work.
Lamech: Nope - instead he looks like a Bullywug on his way to a furry convention.
GM: (Kav's player), you are NOT going to draw this. (Lamech's player), you are NOT going to write the story.

GM: You relax around the fire.
Lamech: And Kremit gives Kav a back massage?
GM: And Kavorog licks his.

We get attacked. Evidently someone objects to hot lizardman-on-bullwug action.

Kavorog: Why do they always attack us at night?
GM: Because they're nocturnal.
Lamech: Fair enough.

Lamech: Behind you! Stop licking his back and move!

It's a party of Gnolls.

Lamech's Player: So, is it Vitus or Jrska?
Kavorog's Player: I thought that one looked familiar XD

GM: Kavorog, you and your companion are spared by Lamech's spell effect.
Lamech: 'Companion'
GM: Batman had a Boy Wonder, Kavorog can have a Frog Wonder.
Lamech: Tadpole Wonder.

Kremit gets downed.

Kavorog: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lamech: 'You can't die, you're too perfect for this world, melodramatic sob'

We also encounter a group of the local barbarians - the encounter is civil enough, right up until Blacklair the dwarf decides to pick a fight with them because they're of a rival totem. He passes every spell save as the rest of try to prevent the fight. Including the Calm Emotions the cleric tries to cast, which fails to calm Blacklair, but DOES calm the barbarians, who back politely away from the frothing dwarf.

Barbarians: Please restrain your maniac.

Lamech: *sigh* It appears this train wreck is unavoidable.

Lamech manages to Web the dwarf and Kavorog chokes him out. We camp beside the Giant's Span Bridge, which is probably of dwarven manufacture given the complete lack of safety rails. Kavorog and Kremit take the last watch.

Lamech: That way the rest of us will have got SOME sleep before those two Get It On.

And then a large water elemental humps up out of the water. We panic, as is our wont.

Cleric: Now, what can I do? I could have cast Calm Emotions on it, but I needed to cast that on somebody else, didn't I? *casts a scathing glance at Blacklair*
Lamech: Talk to it, you're a Water Genassi, aren't you?

GM: This is going to sound stupid ... But the wave wavers.

GM: Now, what offering will it take to let you pass unhindered...
Lamech: It has a craving for idiot dwarves - do we have any in the party?
GM: You're a bit short on those.

Instead it tries to engulf our horses, who break free and run for it, closely followed by the rest of us. All our camping equipment is trashed, but at least nobody is hurt - victory!

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